Fingers are crossed, Mind is empty.

hey, i'm actually BACK :D

2010-05-24T20:39:00.000+05:30

hey,

its been more than a year since my last update? like wahahaha! i'm soo good. i mean, its not like i don't try.....well, ok actually, i didn't try. but i'm reviving this little bloggy of mine. why? i don't know.....? sudden inspiration i guess?
or maybe cos i bought a diary and havent been using it properly and am feeling guilty about it yet cant be bothered enough to actually write and am more in a mood to type and hence, the blog? ( psst....did you get any of that? i wont blame you if you didnt cos i most probably didnt =D )

annnnyway,
honestly,
my life has changed alot! :D

i mean, for one thing, i'm no longer in the 10th :D ..... i'm not in the 12th. a computer science student.....most probably not going to pursue the whole engineering thingymajig cos i wont be able to. and i'm not THAT sad about that. i mean, i've never dreamt about becoming an engineer.....actually, i had no ambitious dreams and i dont think i have any now either. weird huh? all my friends (well, almost) have already decided where to take their lives and i'm stuck here, in the present.....looking back at the past sometimes but never ahead. sad huh? i think NOT :D
come what may.........i'll face them :D i can't promise i wont fall or cry or think about committing suicide but hey, let's face it.....none of us actually have our future in our hands. we can work damn hard at something but end up never succeeding :)

can you believe that? from my current situation to something philosophical like that? :D i seriously rule :D :D :D

what else?
hm, oh yeah. having my holidays now. well, not exactly. school started early this month but i havent been attending classes regularly (one of the consequences of not having a goal). but heck. i'll be going to school tomorrow.....not that i'm jumping excited about it =/ i dont want to goooooooooo :(

crap. whatever. i still have to go. heck. whatever. 'm going. :(

oh oh oh! i'm actually taking driving classes and teach says i'm pretty good already except that i cant stand the brakes. :D like seriously, i cant stand it. i never brake when i have to. i just love the speed :D and i cant stand the brakes. =/ i'll have to work hard and impress teach tmr....why? haha, so that she'll be satisfied enough with me to send me for the test. :D and then!! i'll get my license (yeah baby) and woohoo....i'm actually getting excited just THINKING about it! wahahaha :D :D :D

and yeah, that's about it for today. i'll try to be regular this year :P try try try :D

wish me luck :D

tookies!! :D

revived =D

2009-03-26T22:21:00.002+05:30

this post is to prove to Dah that my blog is not dead.
but then, even if my blog WAS dead, it only died naturally - of old age. Dah's blog died at birth so no comparing my bloggy with yours ok? haha

anyway, the only reason this blog almost died was because i had my Os. haha. i know its very late but today was my last paper. now, i'm free for like 3 whole freaking months! woot!!!

hmm, papers were ok ok la. i dont want to comment on it too much. let the results come. and oh, the results will be out on May 8th. wahaha. i can already hear the thunder booming. i'm guessing May 8th will be a rainy day. oh well.

what else? hmm.....nothing la. life's pretty boring and i've started writing a personnal diary. so yeah, bloggy's gonna die soo but i'll try to keep rejuvenating it once in a while.

oh, dah's blog should already be 6feet under.

hello, and see ya later!

2009-02-20T21:26:00.006+05:30

whoa, its been a frigging long time since i actually blogged. why - you may ask. answer?
i've been busy. really busy. january was full of handing in assignments, projects and all the stupid c-stuff. and by the time we finished that, we had tests! so much tests that the compilation of these papers would create a mountain that will make Sir Everest jealous!

yesterday was the last paper of my prelims. haha. i'm still all the way back. but heck. so yeah, we've got like another 20-30 days before the real EXAM! ...........
i really should be studying now..............
oh bother.......!

so what had happened all that time? well, the more significant ones were ;
1) i won Rs.3000 for winning a district level poetry-writing competition.
2) i had my birthday where i got to eat 12 bars of yummy yum yum chocolates!!
3) i found a pet cat. he's black and always hungry. he stays outside my kitchen and mews, i throw him the fish off my plate. its a healthy relationship!
4) i saw snakes on 3 different occasions. but so far, i've only see the tail part! oh well, i'm not complaining
5) i almost caused the death of my bus-station-walkee friend by putting her right in front of incoming buses! wahaha!
6) i ceased remembering. but i do remember that i love CHOCOLATE! yay!

so yeah thats about it. i just got on to say that hopefuly i will be MIA on the net till March26. i sooooo have to get studying. so yeah! byebye! take care. and see you soon dear bloggy, hopefully with good news! wish me luck!

Quizzy!

2008-12-20T22:07:00.003+05:30

alright. was tagged by Daud to do a quiz. and i did. heh. here it comes;

REGULATIONS of this quiz is:
-People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by them.
-Tag 5 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse.
-These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
-Continue this game by sending it to other people.
Tagged by: Daud

If you had 3 wishes, what will that be?
1. I’ll wish for world peace! Heh! So cliché. But I really don’t think the world can achieve it on its own. It would need supernatural powerful magic like wishes! So yay!
2. 2nd wish would be for me to achieve ALL my dreams. Even if it means getting rid of all the annoying and scary stray dogs in my neighbourhood.
3. 3rd wish would be for me to get another 3 wishes. =D

Did you ever think to yourself and wonder if you're really real?
erm….no? hello? I’m as real as I can get. I am certainly not a dream or an illusion. I’m as real as the pain I feel when I pinch my hand *ouch*. And maybe my dreams and hopes are not real and never seems to connect with reality but like I said, they’re dreams and not reality. But heck, I’m as real as that stupid dog barking outside my house.

Are you afraid of what lies ahead of you?
To me, what lies ahead of me is death. Duh! Its waiting right there for everyone. And so, there are people who walk around dead thinking that they don’t have to do anything because they’re gonna die and then there are people who want to enjoy and make use of the blessing that came in the form of LIFE to its fullest extent. I really am hoping that I belong to the latter group.

Would you change yourself for the person you love?
if Ihad to change myself, then he might as well go love someone else. If you love, then love the person for who she/he is and not for what you can change him/her into. You want your love to be a supermodel, go love a supermodel, if you want your love to be George Bush, go after George Bush and leave the poor soul alone. Heh. That’s my belief. And by the way, who wants to love that irritating dog who is apparently in love with my house? And oh, though its against my belief, change it into whatever you want to. Really!

Do you believe in Love?
Yes. It was love that brought me into this world and it was love who shaped my life. It was love who kept me strong and brave enough to withstand my troubles and it is Love that still keeps me alive.

How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
As long as he wants me to wait. And if rejected, well, lets be practical, I’ll move on.

Is there anything that made you unhappy these days?
That stupid dog has been the death of me for the past few MONTHS!!

Do you get butterflies in your stomach whenever you're around the guy/girl you like?
I don’t think I found Mr.Right yet. And I don’t recall keeping a Butterfly Farm in my stomach.

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
heh! Yes! It was god awful. Imagine trying to study!! And there is one thing I’ll like to get out of my head AND my life – that stupid dog!!

Who are currently most important people to you?
Everyone I’ve met and anyone who’ve made an impact in my life, even if I’ve never met them before.

Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't?
Alright, I’ll be honest…..Yes! but it was more of a wouldn’t than a couldn’t.

Are you happy with your life?
YupYup. I’m ready to live my life to the fullest and I’m not gonna let anyone or any stupid dog from making me do that.

Would you give your all in a relationship?
A relationship can only be made into a powerful bond if both parties work very hard on it together. And so, yes, I would work very hard in a relationship, any relationship. There’s no love forever if you do nothing about it.

If you were to go on Mars to meet some friendly Martians, what would you bring along as a gift?
I would bring with me a lot of DiaryMilk chocolate!! They’ll surely love us for that and business will boom for my most favourite company in the world! And if they’re allergic to chocolate then I wont even want to get acquainted....cos' what's the use??

Do you often wish there was something you could change?
Yes, wishing would never help unless I was in the scenario of the first question. But in reality, there’s only wishing to turn back time. There is somehow no way you can change the past. Maybe you can manipulate the future to make yourself forget the past but the pasts I’m talking about, well, they’re irreversible and somehow, will never be forgotten.

What will you look at first when you first set eye on a girl/guy?
haha! Weird question, rather personal even. I’ll skip this little question. Unless of course it doesn’t talk about physical stuff. If its not physical, then well, personality, the behavior, the reactions and the aura emitted from him. =P (????)

If your lover betrayed you, what will be your reaction?
I’ll be stunned, shocked, feel betrayed, sad, I’ll cry and when all the intensity of drama fades, I’ll move on.

END!! now, whoever gets tagged MUST do this quizzy!!

New Skin!

2008-12-11T22:17:00.003+05:30

yay! finally *phew*. NEW SKIN!!!

comments comments? is it cute or what?? hehe. i'm acting as though i actually created the skin but alas! i did not because i do not have the able hands and mind and intelligence to do so. oh well.

hey! look at what i can do!

yeah well, i've been learning HTML as part of my IT as a subject. i'm actually gonna be tested on IT. woohoo! right.

so what else? well, nothing much really. i only go back to school Monday. its been a frigging cool week of freedom so far and i loved every second of it. and Hari Raya rocked my black socks too. yay! we sacrificed a huge white bull this year. oh, there was one year when my mum and dad went to perform Hajj and i was left in India. well, at that time, i looked after a black bull le! i actually got stroke it, feed it, talk to it and i named it! He was the first bull to be named!! wahaha! and the glorious historical name was - Pinggu. haha! how was i to know that no bull sacrificed ever had a name? oh, there's a pic of him too.

aah! i think he was absolutely adorable! i loved him! he was my first PET that lived soo long! almost one month you know! hehe. but the special bond ceased to exist when the day of sacrifice came. i refused to go near the area where he was to be sacrificed but my really really mean cousin took pics and video of the WHOLE process!! and, well, i was really sad. but i have to admit la, he was one of the most special friends i had. i told him all my problems and everything. i patted him, i brushed him, i fed him every morning before i eat breakfast!! and i used to steal away bananas and watermelon from the kitchen just to feed him. heh! my aunts always scold me for doing that but hello, who can live on hay all month?? everyone needs a variety!! so yeah. i was really close to him. he was the first bull i touched le! and, here's what he was reduced to ....
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WARNING! NEXT PIC MIGHT INDUCE VOMIT! FOR MATURED AUDIENCE ONLY!!
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so sad!! i still feel sick when i think about it. i refused to eat the meat that came from him! how can i?? *sniff sniff*

i think i better go off now. i'm not crying, i just have dust in my eyes!!

and the day is whiled away yet again....

2008-11-27T22:01:00.005+05:30

today. i. went. to. school.

that was probably the most eventful part of my day today. argh! i just need some excitement. really. but where am i supposed to go? *sigh*

have you met Minha?

aah! i think she's just the most darling little thing i've ever met. she just soooo cute...! too bad she is shirtless in this pic. hai! baby's are like FRIGGING cute. she has gone off to live somewhere else right now. she was supposed to be back today but i guess her mom and dad arent ready to come back. they are sooo selfish!

hm. what else? oh, i quarreled with Xana (ksE-Na) today. wasnt the first time but i assume that this would mark our 154th 'break-up'. and its all HER fault! she was writing little notes to me in class. sweet quotes and all that. i decided to write her back one....i wrote:

"my heart burns with much endearing pain when i see the touch of smile on your face..."

...................

...........

.......

so sweet right? i still dont get why she got mad....... *walks off thinking...*

life's getting a little TOO busy...

2008-11-11T11:58:00.002+05:30

hey guys.
i have just came upon a great realisation that i'm biting off more than i can chew. why? i've just involved myself in almost every programme that my school is coming up with. well, maybe not all but heck, i'm actually a LOT more involved in this school than the combination of ALL the schools i've studied in.... i've made 2 speeches in school, i'm being the representative of my school in 3 various competitions and every teacher now comes to me to see if i'm interested in taking part in whatever thing they have.
what does this mean? i feel that maybe i'm trying to run away from something, run away, hide from it all. i'm busying myself up to my neck, over my head, so much that i hardly have time for myself.... practices, meetings with teachers, briefing, damn, i hate it. and recently, the thing i had been trying to run away from came back to me, in the form of a dream. and now, i'm sad again, i keep having these flashes of memories. its not fair. but hell, what is?
anyway, enough of that. i'm trying hard to keep really connected with my friends back there in SG! yay! i miss you guys! heh. RAH, DAH, MEL, ASV, CY, CLARIBEL, SHAH, ELSIE, even Daud, Daniel, Varun....etc and now, i may be able to keep in touch more because they have already gone through one of the toughest phase in their lives - the Big O! woohoo! hurray for you guys! congrats!
yeah, i guess i'll stop here for now. =D bye!

yayness again-ness

2008-10-24T15:27:00.002+05:30

hello. been almost a month since i came here.

today was the last exam paper. *phew* overall, i know i should have studied a lot harder. thats always my thought after every examination but it never helps. oh well.

aishah! i saw that! though a bit too late but i saw that!

and oh, my brother is coming over on 2nd November! yay! so excited. *thinking of all the loved chocolates* i hope he remembers me and my tastes when he goes shopping. hm. *keeping fingers crossed*

anyway, i really dont have anything much to say. except that its raining heavily again when its been raining ALL day! i got drenched when i was coming back from school. wee! i remember walking down the road alone and giggling to myself as i heard the squeaky sounds my slippers made when i walk. i think i attracted strange looks but heck, it was funny.

hm.. BYE! :D

fasting month's over! yay.

2008-10-01T17:44:00.002+05:30

hello everybody.
the fasting month is over and today is Hari Raya. yay! wearing my brand new clothes and all set in front of my laptop. my uncle says he will buy those fire-crackers-thingy-majig to fun-out the night. yay. so excited.
and oh! HAPPPY BIRTHDAY SHAHIDAH!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAHIRAH!!
though i may not be there to wish you and give you gifts, and though i am actually wishing you one day late, my erm, what're they called?? prayerS?? yes, my prayers will always be with you...................................that didnt sound right. hmmm....what was it again? somebody help?
oh, my two best friends in India came over today. Ruxana and Ashwini (i just realised, it sounds exactly like Asveeny!!) and well, they stayed for a while, met ALL of my family members and left after i treated them to lime soda. hmm.

hm.... i have my mid-year exams on october 15th. bye. i've got work to do.

no, don't rejoice....i'm not dead....YET

2008-09-10T18:24:00.003+05:30

hey world. just here to let you know that i am not dead. well, atleast not yet.

so the fasting month begun like 10days ago. and its been fast. like damn! 10days whizzed by just like that and what have i achieved??? nothing. no surprise there though.

and i now want, no, NEED this!!

its from the same creators who made The Sims (melanie....honestly, i now regret ever returning that CD). i know you all know this by now because its that MEGA HUGE HIT, but i NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED it. man! not released here yet. pfft. i dont think it will ever reach this part of the country. pfffffft. *bangs head on desk*

happy belated national day singapore

2008-08-10T21:55:00.004+05:30

i actually forgot about national day. i only remembered it after reading rah's entries. i dread that the singaporean in me is finally saying goodbye. i mean, i actually forgot the most important day in a country that i lived in most of my life. i hate that. how could i? i feel so betrayed.

i was just sitting in the porch, an afternoon alone. and i was thinking about where and what my life was 365days back. i teared a little. just a year and my life completely changed. its just sad. so many losses yet i gained somethings as well. i cant find anyone to blame this change on and that makes it all the more worse. all the what ifs ring in my head, constantly reminding me of my failures, my stupidity and my thoughtlessness.

what if i had spent more time with my father, cherished him a lot more? then maybe he wouldnt have left. what if i never got angry with my father, what if i loved him like i loved the most loved, he couldnt have left. i miss him so much.

what if i did not fought or got angry with my friends, like really cherish them and showed them the importance if their presence in my life, maybe, i wouldnt have lost them.

ah damn, all these what ifs. i hate them. you can bet i'm tearing up now. but that's fate. so much changes. i just wish that time would stop for a while, or atleast slow down so that i can rest and actually catch up with my life. i just wish. another wish among many unfulfilled.

i have long stopped keeping track of the days. i realised i no longer want to because....because i do not want to see the days of my life being wasted away with no accomplishments, no happiness. that brings me to the question...what really is life???
...................................
dad...if you're watching me right now, do know that i will always love you and cherish the love you always gave. i know its too late to return the love. if only i could turn back the time.

hindi test!!

2008-07-18T21:01:00.005+05:30

hello people.

so today was the day i first met with the HINDI test of Doom (note the redness)! here is how - so i didnt study for the test because pfft, whats the use? i take over an hour to read a stupid short short story and even then, only understanding HALF the story! pfft! so i just couldnt imagine me actually writing hindi because, except for Bollywood (hindi version of Hollywood), i know no more hindi. hey, tell me to do so and i'll jabber out all the Hindi hit phrases in the movies i've watched but tell me to write it down and i am as lost as a mouse in a cat field. so yeah, there we were, teacher came in, gave us question paper. teacher already knew that i dont know hindi so she told me to write as much as i can but dont copy (mind you, i had the second smartest girl sitting right beside me) and i just nodded. i went on to reading the question paper and i just broke out into giggles. i just kept giggling! at first i thought, "oh, god! now i'm crazy! great!" and then my neighbour asked me why i was giggling. i whispered to her (since the test already begun and the rest of the class was busy zooming their pens all over their papers),

"i read the paper and i have NO idea what i'm reading. i really wonder why i'm sitting here, and and and, this is my first time i can look at a test and have NO idea what's it about!!"

she just laughed and she went on to answering the dumb questions.

so i thought, lets get serious Farha! and i realised that hey! i remember reading qn 8 before! and i attempted the qn. then hey! i remember reading qn 7 before and i attempted the qn and so on, till i attempted every question on the dumb 25marks paper. i positively LOVED the test. i actually walked away beaming, forgetting the fact that i'm gonna fail miserably for that test. but it was all goooooood.

next post, i shall talk about my uncle's phone. (this is just a gentle reminder for me =D )

nothing much really

2008-07-11T20:36:00.003+05:30

ok. feeling really really nostalgic right now. argh. i hate being at home. its sooo...... lonely.
i'm supposed to be doing somethingS else other than once again wasting time surfing the web for no specific reason. i just hate my life for what it has become. hate it so much.
but hey thats me, the lonely, really sad me.

school. had school today. great, lets get distracted.
so arrived at school at like 9.30am. hm. i'm supposed to draw the maps of the three major oceans - Arctic, Pacific and Indian. i'll probably get to it later, or not.
whatever.
so yeah. i really have great friends here. seriously, they are great people and really selfless too. Ruxana does the cleaning up for me. Sharmina brings me CDs to watch. Nivala gets me extra notes on subjects. really great people.
but then, there's always this little space that no one i have ever come across filled. its this feeling of emptiness that consistently leaves me sad, depressed and annoyed. and then, two years back, i thought i finally found the one who would fill this feeling of emptiness within me. disappointed. i wasted two years of hopes, dreams, shattered, blank. i hate hate hate him for doing that. though, its not his fault. its mine. but i rather not acknowledge. lets blame him.
ignorance is no longer bliss my friend....

No-School-Day...YAY! (it rhymes....sort of)

2008-06-20T19:15:00.003+05:30

hello world
so school wasnt open because of some national crisis. i have got no idea what it is about because its been months since i read a newspaper or watched the news. you know why? everything is in the main language here and i have got no idea on how to read or write the language fluently enough to be bothered with the news. but still! no school! woot!!

yesterday, i had three cousins over. they are grown-ups - 21, 24, 28 yr-olds. and all three of them had BABIES - 2month-olds and 1yr old! wow. it was a tough night. the babies hardly slept, kept crying and woohoo, i now have black-stuff under my eye (what's it called again?). but they left this morning. sad. oh well. they'll be back....wahaha. i know. =D

and my best friend is trying to get me to get her get hooked up with my BROTHER!! she makes it soooo obvious. i was like teasing her, asking her if she would get married the next day and she said enthusiastically that she is ready if my brother is!! aah! haha. funny, weird but i rather keep her as my best friend instead of my sister-in-law. *shivers*

tests! social, maths, english tests! and only one that actually happened this week because, on the days when two tests were supposed to be on, it was HOLIDAY! unexpected! woohoo! thank gawd i didnt study, wahaha!

hmmm. thats about it i guess!

P.S oh melanie! seriously! congrats on the return of your cat! your mum searched for it?? =D

Been Busy

2008-06-13T22:17:00.004+05:30

School begun. truckloads of homework everyday. not very stressed out though. maybe because i missed schooling after the six month break and am now glad to be a student once again. really. i really missed sitting in class and listening to teachers, the noise of a teacher-less class. and right now, i'm loving it! honest!

so, there was one day, we were returning from school. at around 5 i think. we came out of the bus, oh oh!! the bus rides! these buses are huge! all windows thrown open. and always always crowded. and then, there are potholes all over the roads here. there is no smooth road. all is rough, go up here, plunge down there and stuff like that, and to make it all the more better, these buses speed up like there is no tomorrow! like VROOOOOOOOOm! we're flying. so imagine hell-speed and potholes. its a roller-coaster! woohoo! jump jump, swerve swerve, woo!

and oh, class begins at 10 and ends at 4pm here.

anyway, so we (me, my sis, my cuz) were walking back and there were a group of guys standing around. when we walked by, a guy sang a song (some nutty song that i ceased to remember) and then he stopped while we past the group. then i heard him asking his friends, "is she looking? is she looking??" and then, with a more sadder voice, "oh, she wont look! nobody looks! " haha. it was funny but really sad for him. so that was just one occasion.

oh, another time, because the bus leaves immediately after it stops at a bus stop, we have to rush. there were times when the bus took off with one foot left on it! scary! but anyway, so we were squeezing over way to the door and the bus stopped and i couldnt move. had my back in front of me lest it got lost behind. and the bag wouldnt budge. it just stayed there! it wont go up, it wont come down. just there in mid-air, stuck in the middle of 2 unknown back-sides! i really had to control myself from laughing out loud. i found it HILARIOUS. most probably because for one thing, the bus was about to go off and the worry went into my head and the second reason because the owners of the back-sides just looked at me while compressing my im-mobile bag *idiots*. and thankfully, i managed to get down before the bus flew off.

so thats the end of my post. i shall try to post weekly, have to study during the weekdays (gasps!)

byebye!! =D

.......................................

................................. What're YOU looking at? ................................

Bored

2008-06-06T21:38:00.003+05:30

ok. blog's in better condition now. well, not perfect but BETTER than 48hrs ago. so yeah. what do you think? keep or throw??
anyway,
anyway,
erm,
i'm thinking
you know what? let me admit it
i have nothing going on in my life that is worth blogging about. =(((
sad sad sad
hm
oh oh
HAPPY BELATED ENVIRONMENTAL DAY!!

yup, that's how boring my life is..............

END

2008-06-02T21:09:00.000+05:30

UNDER MAJOR CONSTRUCTION
IT MIGHT TAKE A LITTLE WHILE

2008-06-02T19:50:00.009+05:30

hello people. emo-ness long over. it was really really weird. or as i put it - waves of self-pity overwhelmed me crushing my control into bits (lame much?)

anyway.

soo school OFFICIALLY started! woohoo! and because we are the Sec4s, everyone like afriad of us. they make way for us liao! woohoo. but i think its more because one of the girls in the group did something really really really bad that made her seem like a gangster/bully. but whatever, being scared of is really nice. and my friends are really cool people.

oh, the uniform!! whacked!!

okay, imagine this. (if you are a girl)

you are in a white room wearing the queensway uniform.

and there is a window, a single window.

and Mr Bean is peeping into the room.

and now, keep the shirt on.
change the colour of the skirt to PINK.
drag the skirt all the way down to your ankles.

and walah! there you have my ugly uniform.

for those unable to imagine, here is a picture.

.............so thats the uniform....................

...............................YECHHHH!!........................................

and! for those of you who think i live in a Kampung House!!

(i'm not naming people)

the first picture is an unknown kampung house off the internet and the secong one is MY house. so there! and though i have nothing to prove it, think about it. imagine a computer in the first picture with internet connection. =D

have fun!

2008-05-25T21:17:00.002+05:30

i'm feeling really lonely now. i feel the tears heating up my eyes. i know, i have many people around me, my family, my friends here and my friends there. but this feeling came on suddenly. i shivered and now, i feel like crying. damn.

i'm really lonely arent i? right now, i have no one whom i can share my deepest secrets with, i have no one to laugh about my most embarrassing. i guess right now, i have no ears that listen to me and just me. i guess right now, i have no one to laugh heartily with me. and that is. just. really. sad.

you know what. its alright. lonely is good. right? wrong! i miss my really really close friends back there. i need someone to actually talk to, not type to. i need to hear a voice that concentrates on my words. argh.

big world, vast sky, people all around

lonely me, lonely me...

Ootyyy

2008-05-14T19:27:00.006+05:30

i always thought this blog was dead. but here i am, the angel of life *coughcough* to give this blog back its lost happiness of life. wahaha.

anyway, i went for a tour! woohoo! to erm, Ooty, with my family, the 31 of us hopped into a hired bus and off we went for a ride that lasted 10hrs! its was rocking - literally. *rubs bruised forehead*

but! it is THE place to be! i LOVED every part of it. the place, the family, the place, the cold, the mountains, the water, the E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!

so first, we went to this place to see the mini mini waterfalls (what were they called again?) pics!

Look at the mountains! it was just BREATH-TAKING!

I LOVE this place. water falling! wow! i'm loving it!

I really dont know why or how, but when i saw this place, my mind totally cleared out. it was peaceful, so really peaceful. i'm going back there one day.

so thats my uncle, me and my cousin, in front of the falls.

and then, we went to a boating park. it was nice. not that incredible but really nice and cooling.

so thats the whole crew! i was on a paddle-yourself boat. we were left out. no place. the paddling was fun. and under the directions of my in-experienced uncle, we managed to safely return to the shore. nice!

and then, after that place, we went to a place called the ROSE GARDEN. the name speaks for itself...pics!

so this is the MAP OF INDIA and its states made entirely of ROSES! how COOL is that huh?

mixed coloured roses on a stem! is it possible or are they totally man-made?

and then, we headed to a mountain. forgot the name but nevertheless, a mountain. when we reached the top, we could see the WHOLE of Ooty. and wow! it was gonna rain, real hard so the mountain top was a bluey, darkey, greyey and scary! but the fences were there.....thank GOD?

there was this SUICIDE POINT. its the place on the mountain that is famous for....suicide. people go there, la-la-la-la, and 1-2-3 JUMP! and WHAM, die! it is now a place of tourist attraction. pitiful are the lives of the people who literally gave their lives for that place.....oh well. people were taking pics and eating ice-cream at the place where many people jumped to their death. scary much?

and then, the last stop. BOTANICAL GARDEN. not much pics there because it was mainly sitting down and playing games. it was awesome. a great ending to the whole tour. we played two games. and they ROCKED! haha. all thanks to the game-maker, my uncle. =D *thumbs up*

THE END

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oh wait, want to see the cutest boy alive? he is every girls eye-candy! scroll down!!

he's my cousin who never poses for any photos. i managed to snap this when his father was carrying him, yes, he LOVES his father.

2008-05-03T21:13:00.005+05:30

for the first time in my life, i was in a real live RALLY!!

ok, not that many people and not THAT active either. all guys, loud and very much in spirit in front, and all the girls, soft and rather inactive except for random, sudden outbursts, behind.

so at first when i heard i had to take part in a RALLY, i was like 'No way! over MY living dead body!!' and i REFUSED to join but the BIG BOSSES there (adults) made all take part. argh! i was sooooo embarrassed and at the same time, i had to laugh...and laugh and laugh and laugh. till we came to a part of the CITY where there were a LOT LOT LOT of people! then me and my cousins, we stopped laughing and throughout the rest of the RALLY, i kept repeating this to myself in my head - do not smile, serious farha, this is serious work, straight face, no smile, straight face!!

so yeah. that was that of the thing that happened today - I TOOK PART IN A RALLY CONSISTING OF A FEW HUNDRED STUDENTS!! wooohoo! exciting and it was a once in a lifetime kind of experience - meaning, i NEVER want to do it AGAIN!!

oh oh, and the best part - we had to chant some lines that would be shouted out by the leaders, and we had to repeat those sentences very very loudly.....i didnt repeat because.... i didnt understand any of those sentences. =D

2008-04-13T20:28:00.003+05:30

i just came back from my stay at a boys' hostel. how did i get there? its a LONG story. BUT to make a long story short - i have a cousin who studies and stays there, and it was ANNUAL DAY (speech day) there and parents had to attend the concert.
so. we had to take a 2hr long bus ride to one city and from there, another 1hr bus ride to the school. woohoo! it was long but fun. slept through most of the ride anyway.

we were 2hr late! it started at 5pm but we only managed to reach the school at 7pm. the hostel/school was located on a small mountain/large hill. so we had to climb. it was damn steep! we took the autoricksaw there and we had to get down halfway because normally, autos cannot go past that certain amount of distance because it was THAT STEEP! anyway, so when i got down from the auto, i kinda had to run,tumble,trip down because i didnt expect the hill to be that steep!

the concert was from 5pm-1am!! 1 holy AM!!! what the hell! so yeah. at around 12am, they started a ghost story skit. the ghost's outfit was damn convincing. scary!

anyway, concert ended. we went down to the toilets to freshen up. did i mention that we were at a BOYS' hostel? turn left, BOYS, turn right, BOYS, look behind, BOYS, in front, BOYS. so the toilet. there was only boys' toilet (duh) so we had to wait to use the toilet with many other guys around us. it was damn embarrassing. argh! horrible. am sure the guys felt the same way too.

anyway. so yeah. all done, we headed to our room. normal room. double bunk bed. no MATRESS! no PILLOWS! no BLANKET! nothing! the guest room had nothing except wooden beds! it was a cold night that night.

the guys there were from Pri. 5 till JC/Poly. and when i saw many many short short guys who looked as though they were in Pri. 2. i asked a guy who was sitting beside me, "are those little kids really in Pri.5? they're soo short" and that tall, tall guy (i was literally looking up to him), he said, "dont worry about them. I was like them when i was in Pri.5" guys stretch fast (so dont worry daud =D )

2008-04-08T20:46:00.002+05:30

i am supposed to be studying. i've a little mini hindi test tmr for tuition and argh, i just cant seem to concentrate. most probably because its been a loooong time since i actually studied. pfft. did you know that India's previous President was Abdul Kalam. i heard of A.K before but never knew that he was actually the PRESIDENT (think Bush in front of USA's flag).

sian! he is there in the pic staring at me as though telling me to STUDY now or never. pfft. i better get going. haiz!

funny phrase of the day - (upon entering a high class boutique, the first thing my AUNT asked the shop-person)

"so what's on discount??"

i died.

2008-04-07T21:37:00.004+05:30

Its not like you care any more
I want to get away yet I keep turning back
These tears in my eyes,
What do they mean?
Heart is heavy, I feel the pain
Vision blurred, I ache from fear
Mind is blank, questions not answered

I know I’ll get hurt,
I know that in the end, I’ll be alone
But why do I keep coming back?
Why do I keep looking, searching
For answers that hide from me?
Why do I look over there and wonder?
When all you left me was grief, misery and

A Broken Heart
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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2008-04-04T19:08:00.006+05:30

this blog is dead. like really dead. people thought i was dead when i didnt come online for a few days. do you guys really think that i'll leave that easily? wahaha.

anyway, i've joined a school. a girls' school. never been in a girls' school before. and the people whom i know who were/are in girls' school, they say its boring. so i'm gonna have fun being bored to death for a year in a girls' school. how does having guy classmates create such huge a difference?? maybe because we wont have comedy reality shows when guys fight/quarrel/bitch/flirt/fools around. oh well, one year. i'm prepared though.

Mujhe Hindi Maloom Hai!! like finally. i learnt the national language of my country...after 16 long years. i rock! well, atleast for now. most probably i'm gonna fail in class with my primary 1 hindi. pfft! such is life. but honestly, for those who want to learn hindi, watch BOLLYWOOD!

*some pretty people of Bollywood*

yeah, anyway. am playing badminton everyday. all the kids in the huge family plays every evening for fun and the fresh air. its really fun and i used to suck in badminton before but now due to much practice, i'm pretty good. =D

RANDOM PHOTO OF THE DAY

**Tsk Tsk Tsk, Gambling AGAIN (with UNO cards (-.-) )**

2008-03-18T21:11:00.005+05:30

GOD I WAS JUST KIDDING! For those of you who took it seriously.....i'm sorry for you.

but i do love her as a GREAT FUN-TASTIC friend. and because she laughs like SPONGEBOB whom i love too. and because she edited this skin for me. and because she is really QWACK, like in the head!! woohoo! and also because she cant choose which GOODY to get Varun to buy for us! THE LAYS YOU IDIOT! ITS MORE EXPENSIVE!!! =P

RANDOM PHOTO OF THE DAY

**** i still cant figure out why he did that face....****

2008-03-18T21:08:00.003+05:30

hello!

if you've been to Aishah's Blog and are here to get some answers....well,

I LOVE AISHAH TOO!!

and aishah only said that she was kidding because she didnt want to make Syazwan jealous! wahaha. =D

so yeah. this post is dedicated to our LOVE!!

wahaha. wondering why i using red? its HER favourite colour! woohoo.
we les rocks!
byebye

BOOM!

2008-03-12T21:51:00.004+05:30

The house where many generations lived . . . newly painted!!

Nothing much really to post right now.

i thought that the chaos here have ended but a few seconds ago, i heard 3 bomb blasts and i was pretty sure that the 4th one was gonna land right here in front of me because it was soooo loud and uncomfortably near.

guys! if i ever die, this blog shall die along with me. do not tag or anything. because whatever you say then shall be no longer of any use - by then, it would be too late.

that was weird. but yeah. so you wonderful people out there, if you have anything to tell me - something that you have always been wanting to tell me, tell me now before its too late. *sniff sniff*

well yeah. thats about it. oh oh
i conducted a wedding!! it was a simple ceremony but i was the one who made it all happen~! they had been together for soooo long that i thought it was only right that i give them the blessing of marriage ~~~ and here's presenting the BRIDE and GROOM...!

**wedding bells**

THIS POST

2008-03-06T20:30:00.006+05:30

HAPPENED BECAUSE OF AISHAH!! (she wanted me to post!)

so anyway
today!
my cousins had no school! so we were playing badminton from 7am to 6.30pm, with breaks in the middle. we were playing doubles and my team was pretty good. we managed to win 1 out of 2 competitions....
was real fun!

and why didnt my cousins go to school today??

here is how the day became to be!
yesterday, 3 people were hacked to death - they were struck by PARANGS! yes, and this happened in the city, which is like 10mins from my place and i always go there to do my shopping. this whole attack thing only happened because of POLITICS! there is scary rivalry between 2 or 3 political parties here and the followers kill! heard like 3 BOMB BLASTS yesterday and my cousins went, "oh, bomb...."! i was shocked like hell and they were like, "oh, another bomb?? where DO they get the money from??" aaah!

and today, the city was 'closed' down. like, no shops! no buses! no trains! no nothing!! just police jeeps patrolling the roads lest should someone be walking around with bombs in their hands and we are not supposed to step out of the house in a group of 3 or more!! like what the hell!!
....................

and i just heard another bomb like a few minutes ago. my mum told me that another 2 got killed today and there is a possibility that the city might be 'closed' down tomorrow as well.

the funny thing is, when the city 'closes' down, schools are closed as well so my cousins get a day off! so now, i'm pretty sure that they are happy that another 2 is killed because that only means they get another day off!!

not related with what i was talking about though it might have been BULLSH*T. (get the joke? hahaha) . . . anyway, this was taken at a zoo. you get to ride bull-carts!! and i was THAT close to bulls with HUGE horns! SCAAAAAAARY!

Train!

2008-03-05T13:58:00.002+05:30

First train trip in India. I've been on the MRT far too many times for my own good but the trains in India? They are waaaaay different!
I was pretty nervous about the whole thing. i was expecting a damn crowded cabin for me to put one leg into the train and the rest of the body hanging outside the train because i cant get in.
And that was when we boarded the train and i found out about ...... SLEEPER CABINS!! they are the brilliant creations meant for those who travel through the night. Though it was a tad more expensive than the general (which i found out later from my aunt that there would have been a possibility of getting suffocated in that cabin), it was worth it! two whole bunks for 5 people! now thats what i call luxury. so because of that. the train ride was pretty fun!

and yeah. thats about it for the day's bloggy! MY FIRST TRAIN RIDE IN INDIA! INTERESTING

take care!

Pics From A LONG Time Ago

2008-02-27T19:25:00.003+05:30

Airport

seriously, to those who came to the airport and those who spoke/messaged me before i left, i was very, very, VERY touched! i still remember crying! it was really sad but now, we moved on! just some pics taken there! from Varun, Melanie! (thanks guys!)

the group! really nice people! thanks again guys!

seriously, i didnt mean to look busy. Arrryani was on the phone (see? i remember that clearly!) and people were busy taking/posing for the pics!

i still feel guilty at not having been able to talk to all of those who came there that day but my family was rushing me! argh. but hey, atleast i managed to keep in contact with most of you right here from india!

Hello Hello Hello!

2008-02-27T14:50:00.000+05:30

OK. am finally back to the blogging world. i used to have another blog in another community but i'm leaving the past behind.

before i start, i NEED to say this....

AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DAMN MISS MY FRIENDS BACK IN SINGAPORE!!!!!!
waaaaaaah!!!
its really sad la...... = (
*its ok farha, when you are old and dying, buy 50% discount senior tickets and fly back and visit either the graves of your friends or those just like you -old and dying*
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now.
today has been pretty interesting so far.
woke up
went for arabic tuition (and this is at 7 in the morning!!)
came back
ate breakfast
tutor came in for hindi tuition (at 10.30am!)
tutor left at 12++
played PS till 2
ate lunch
now i am here!
later, will go play badminton with my cousins (aged 7-18yrs ... around 12 of them)
and so on...

really, my days are damn interesting.

i have been visiting some blogs often. and thats how i know most of the updates in lives back in singapore. have been reading so much that i just wanted me to be back to blogging and see my link in some of your blogs XP

so yeah.
i think thats about it for the first post in my world!!
thanks for coming!!

=Farha=